I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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