I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
