DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
