I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize