I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
