..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
