It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
