They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
