I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
