I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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