Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
BRING THE BAGELS
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize