Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
