we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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