Having a random hookup so left but love u
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
