Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My liver is preforming stress tests.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
