Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
