Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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