i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We're too hungover to prance.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
