Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize