you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Randomize
