Cold hands, warm shart.
My liver just broke up with me...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
