dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
