it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
