this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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