You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
