Just mADE A PArabola og urine
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
