He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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