I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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