he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
