I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize