saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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