is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
