so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
