Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize