Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize