He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
