You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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