I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize