Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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