I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
