I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
