Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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