So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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