I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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