Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
