# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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