Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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