She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
