Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I will be naked everywhere
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
They took my balls.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
