i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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