can we get nightvision for the apartment?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize