Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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