Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
