If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
