She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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