Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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